Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Another chance

I haven't written in a while. I am now expecting again. I am now 13 weeks. I have had 2 ultra sounds. The first filled me with fear. I had hoped they would tell me everything was fine but that wasn't the case. They saw something they were sure what it was. SO after 4 weeks of worry and concern and lots of prayers, yesterday I had a 2nd ultra sound which proved to be much better. Everything looked fine the first issues had were resolved. I started to tear up with joy. Only to remind my self that the Aug 18 due date was still very far away.

My mom asked me today if after I got past the 21 week if I would feel better. "NO!" I don't think that I am going to rest easy until I have this child alive in my arms. The innocence of thinking I am past the danger point will never be with me again. I am OK with that. I know that its just part of me. The way that Drake will always be part of me. With his death, died the innocence way of thinking life will ever be the same again.

I wait for the day that I will feel definitively the kicks and the movements of this child.

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